Moving on from shattered dreams

One grows up dreaming about the good life. Good life here, of course differs from person to person. For me, it's a life surrounded by love, happiness and one brimming with laughter and compassion.





I just finished reading The Last Lecture by Randy Pausch. A true story - essentially a final lecture Randy delivered at Carnegie Mellon in 2007, where he's professor of Computer Science. It's inspiring not just because of his achievements in life - which were many - but inspiring for life's little lessons. It's about living.





Randy, an award-winning teacher and researcher, has this takeaway: "We cannot change the cards we are dealt, just how we play the hand".





His lecture will inspire you to think about seizing every moment, beat obstacles - they are there for a reason - we have to live. Life can be cruel, but what should you do then? Sulk, whine and whinge? No, move on. Be happy. Or make someone happy, says Randy.





It's not rocket science. It's common sense. But how many of us can truly see the meaning behind life's challenges?





What does not destroy you makes you stronger. I know this is true. It's about not asking God why me? If you have to ask, ask instead: what do you want me to learn from this?





Another simple idea to me in the lecture, but most meaningful is that life is about chasing dreams. Fulfilling them. Finding someone else to share those dreams. And together we chase and fulfill each other's dreams. Enable the other's dreams too. And then, leaving this world, knowing that you have fulfilled some dreams - yours and others' - and do make a difference to others' lives - even if it's only by one tiny bit.





Of course, part of the deal is knowing that some dreams are just not meant to be.





Randy of course wanted a long and healthy life - to enjoy it with his beautiful wife and 3 kids.


But God has other plans for him. He died of pancreatic cancer. Just last year. But his "live life" legacy lives on.





I was handed a cruel reality today. A dream of mine crushed and shattered.





Whole of today, I was vacillating between two paths. I love the person who did this to me. Too much, it hurts. The person doesn't love back with the same intensity. How could it be, when the pain from what was done is immeasurable. A betrayal of mega proportions. What's worse, it's a repeat act. My heart bleeds.





So what do I do? How do I move on? Forgive, learn from it together and make the best of tomorrow, still together? Or forgive, be strong and move on, on my own? Cut off ties with this person.





I still don't know.





Meanwhile, Randy's tales of wisdoms are ringing in my ear. I'm sure I can apply some of them to my current dilemma. Any thoughts?


I'm glad I got the book. I picked it up randomly at the JFK Airport in New York two months ago, on my last holiday with my husband. Bought with my last US dollars before heading back to sunny Singapore. One of those books that will stay with me for life - for its simple lessons on life.